By Michelle Kirwa, Headgirl  2020

For people to love you, you must love yourself first. This is the true definition of a person with high self-esteem. When you are able to exude confidence in your own worth or abilities regardless of the public view, then you hold yourself with high regard; high self-esteem. So what is self-esteem? It can be referred to as satisfaction or dissatisfaction in one’s self.  This topic is more so important to me because of the age bracket that I fall-a teen. Most of the time, we lose our identity at the onset of adolescence, an act that later defines our adulthood lifestyle. So what influences self-esteem in most adolescents?

Where we come from or our family environment plays a big role in shaping our self-esteem. Family is the first foundation of a child hence making it a crucial stage in development. What our parents, siblings and relatives think or say about us can drastically improve or deteriorate our self-confidence. The wise say that charity begins at home.

Secondly, our physical appearance has a way of influencing our self-worth. Physical characteristics such as hair, weight, skin color, way of clothing, may also affect an individual’s self-esteem. For instance, if I am an obese girl or boy, chances are high that I will look down upon myself. This ends up hurting my social characteristics and influence. In addition, a person who has high confidence levels may learn things quickly, trust that they can complete tasks to a good standard and this subsequently may boost their self-esteem. This act of self-belief is one of the elements of self-esteem that we must inculcate in us.

What our friends say about us has a way of either hurting us more so if the feedback is not what we expected of them. Positive and negative messages and feedback from friends and others may boost or break an individual’s self-esteem. For example, when your best friend tells you that the speech or presentation you gave in class was a boring one, chances are high that you will not be ready to take any chances to perform in public for the fear that you are not good enough as was ‘confirmed’ by your best friend even when their views might be wrong.

Finally, academic achievement and achievement of one’s goals related to their hobbies play a crucial role in forming a positive, healthy view of the self. A child with poor academic performance might feel intimidated to express his/her views in class hence affecting his social being. So, with all these, how do we improve our self-esteem as students and adolescents? Well, there are several ways of doing so.

Firstly, you must stop your inner criticism. Say ‘stop’ to your inner criticism because through negative energy that we generate in our mind, chances are high that, we will see ourselves as failures and students who depends on affirmation to move forward. This is wrong! You also need to write down everything you love and appreciate about yourself as you take self-appreciation break.

Finally, you must always aspire to do the right thing whether in public or private. In doing these, you must always remember that it will not always be an easy walk in the park. However, you must keep on believing in yourself and capitalising in every single achievement you make because through this, you will be generating positive energy that is vital for your self-worth discovery.

 Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.

– Beyonce

Self-love will help you in many stages of life. Never shy out on opportunities due to lack of self-esteem as it may result in remorseful deeds. The wise say, “do not cry over spilt milk. ” So, JIPENDE NANI.